dal lavoro “Born Free” di ©Ilvy NjiokiktjienWilmarie Deetlefs (24) together with her boyfriend Zakithi Buthelezi (27) on a night out in Johannesburg, South Africa.
Zakithi Buthelezi (27) notices people often treat him differently once they find out he has a white girlfriend. Friendlier, more interested. It gets him respect. For Wilmarie Deetlefs (24) – his girlfriend – it’s mostly the other way around. “Go get yourself a man of your own color,” she once had a taxi driver snarl at her.
“So you like them darker” or “I see you like your vanilla”, are comments they hear a lot. These may be harmless jokes to the people saying them, but such remarks still frustrate the couple. “They are basically saying this is something out of the ordinary. But it’s not”, says Deetlefs. “It’s just two people connected,” Buthelezi adds.
“But those are little things,” they put it into perspective. “It’s not like prosecution”. Which is what they could have faced under apartheid laws, where interracial relationships were prohibited. “I would have totally sneaked around for you though,” Deetlefs adds, laughing.
Five months into their relationship – “a Tinder success story” – Deetlefs hasn’t yet told her parents about it. “The previous relationship I had with someone who wasn’t white, my dad took it so weirdly, strangely personal.
She blames it on the conservative mentality in the small rural town where she grew up, and where her parents still live. “People gossip and say really mean things. That’s why I have no friends back there, and I never had friends growing up, because I could not connect with those people.”
Deetlefs listens as Buthelezi – grandson to prominent Zulu leader Mangosuthu Buthelezi and destined to one day take over his role – talks about his people’s culture and history. “It’s such a cool legacy to have, that you get to be proud of your culture. I’m happy for you,” she responds.
She never cared much for her Afrikaner background, history and